Assimilative labor--such as gender performance, or code-switching--is required in every aspect of life for marginalized people to survive in physical and digital spaces. This aesthetic and performative labor is what women of color, and trans + nonbinary people of color are forced to juggle while managing societal stereotypes and expectations with their own safety, autonomy, and self-determination in all spheres of life. From engaging with online media, navigating one’s career, being afforded respect and value in relationships, and being treated with equity in the eyes of the law -- intersectionally marginalized individuals are required to perform daily invisibilized, uncompensated labor. This labor has been commodified and made invisible through centuries of systemic kyriarchy. The result is the explicit and implicit oppressive codes of conduct imposed upon these individuals as they aim to lead their lives with agency, safety, and dignity. Decentering, in collaboration with Nina Lutz–is a course and a book project–contributing theory and empirics to address the aforementioned questions for systems designers and marginalized individuals.